Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Similarities in Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy

Have a history teacher explain this if they can !

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.



Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.


Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.


Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.


Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.


Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.


Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908



John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939


Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.


Now hang on to your seat !

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."

Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."


Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.


And here's the "kicker":


A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe,
Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn
Monroe.

and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran
to a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran
to a theater.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

SMILE

SMILE

S - Sets u Free
M - Makes u Special
I - increase ur face value
L - Lifts up ur spirits
E - Erases all ur tensions

Sardarji Virus

My Dear Receiver,


I am Sardarji Virus. Since I am not so technically advanced, this is a
MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself
and send this email to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping me.

Regards,

Sardarji Virus

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Difference between boys and girls while using ATM

Difference between boys and girls while using ATM (Bank's cash dispenser machines)

Boys:

1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip

Girls:
1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#
23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car
29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag
31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP
34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car
36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car
38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor
40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut
42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE
44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake
47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of HIM.



"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it."

Monday, May 02, 2005

Aisi apni Wife ho

Aisi apni Wife ho

5'6" jiski height ho,

Jeans jiski tight ho,

Chehara jiska bright ho,

Weight mein thodi light Ho,

Umar me difference slight ho,

Thodi see wo quiet ho,

Aise apni Wife ho....

Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,

Bhid me sab kahe side ho, side ho..

India ki paidaish ho,

Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho

Aisi apni Wife ho...

Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,

Dinner candle light ho,

Dono me na kabhi fight ho,

Milne ke baad dil delight ho,

Hey prabhu teri archana uski life ho.

Yeh kavita padke sab kahe "Guru, tum right ho", Aise apni Wife ho...

Kaash yeh concept 0.0001 percent bhi right ho

Agar aisi apni wife hoto kya hasin life ho

Har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho

kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho

Khudah ke software mein bhi bug ki na gunjaish ho

Ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho

aisi apni wife ho, aisi apni wife ho....