HR means High Risk.

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:-Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral of the story HR means High Risk.

US President Bush definition of Tragedy

President George W. Bush visits a primary school classroom. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him that would be a 'tragedy'.

"No," says Bush, "that would be an 'accident'

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a 'tragedy'."

"I'm afraid not," explains the President. "That's what we would call a 'great loss'."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy'?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One, carrying you, Mr.President, were struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a 'tragedy'."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a 'tragedy'?"

Well," says the boy, "because it certainly wouldn't be a 'great loss' and it probably wouldn't be a damn 'accident' either."

Sardar Jokes Collection 1

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji: "I\'ve been promoted as branch manager."

Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today\'s dinner should be light"
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first. ",1]
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Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U've 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.",1]
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A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"ve 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!
Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".

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A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!

Man: Sardarji where were u born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".

In COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke .....
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho..... Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don\'t know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results put on two coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I\'ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258. "
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IN COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke .....
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don't know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results put on two coats"

Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept........
Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient\'s Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!! ",1]

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Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept........

Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!